Wednesday, September 3
orange caterpillars
I dont know what made me so eager to go to school today. I was the first to reach for Lit lesson and more than half the class didnt attend. I had no regrets though, because i managed to do some revision all alone in the canteen. Plus i didnt know Zara and Aneey and Rasyiqah had lessons today until i bumped into Zara. So, that means company, which is all the better for me.
They're like my sugar coated pills which gets me high even when im not in the best of moods and never let me walk through the solitary lane:
This morning after pre-dawn, I thought long and hard about nothing and everything, allowing whatever that was niggling my mind to have a chance to step out of the shadows and show itself. You know, it was the same niggling feeling I ran from while I lay in bed trying to fall asleep, the same feeling I fought while furiously tidying up my room, the same feeling I get while studying, the same feeling i feel when im practically not doing anything.
All I could do then was to sit at the table like a surrendered prisoner, stepping away from my weapon and allowing my thoughts to hold me under arrest. I have been like an escaped criminal on the run for so long.
And i have been patient for so long, too.
"Whats wrong with you?"
Thanks Abah for asking. If i knew the answer, I would have told you. I dont know whats wrong, but there's definitely something wrong. Gahh. I wished i could be like Christopher (the main character in my literature storybook) because he would do quadratic equations to make him feel better.
Stop invading my thoughts!!