Wednesday, September 17
a gem of truth
When will i ever learn to draw a bold line between fact and fiction? I know, that the truth might have injured but to stay behind closed doors, it can hell well murder me as well.
Not knowing, pretending, suffocating.
Its like, im biting my own tongue hard till it severs. It's neverending. Youre pushing that knife nearer to my vital centre. Slowly and gradually, im feeling a razor tip penetrating the surface. You cut so deep now, it doesn't even hurt a slight bit for I have lost every single emotion I used to feel. I've lost them, together with my most prized posession.
Numb.
I will draw every drop of blood, detach every inch of skin, let you pull away my organs but I would never feel a thing. I can never feel anything. As of now, emotions are like names of those streets which we always will forget, together. I have traveled to those very places with you by my side, wherever. To have you in close proximity was an unknowing conspiracy.
Your feelings were deceitful pretenses. Your actions were clear manifestations of your deceivability. If you ever truly meant to disserve, was it right for me to deserve it in the first place? Or was I the victim of a fulfillment for your very desires? You have pulled apart every segment of my body. Don't you even try to fix me, especially this heart which you solely had from the beginning. I guess placing it in your hands was just a start of the end.
What does it take to be the happiest being on Earth, really? Ergh. No doubt, you were the hottest boy on stage just now. Im stating a 367% fact.
Plus plus yesterday's iftar session with Adnan, Aneey, Zara, Musa, Si Hui, Kaya, Syahmi, Syafiq, Arif, Liah and Rasyiqah was great. Pictures soon darlas :)
(Soon might mean tomorrow too.)